Drive-Thrus.
Some people like 'em. Some hate 'em. I've lived in towns that didn't allow and other towns couldn't get enough of them. Whatever people think of them they're a pretty regular feature of American life to the point where few of us give it any thought.
One would think that the design of these things would be pretty standard given how long we've had to figure out how to make them work. Some places have two windows, some have one but other than that it's pretty uniform everywhere. Everywhere that is...except here.
St Bernard Parish has done the impossible and screwed up the previously unassailable drive-thru.
It all looks comfortably normal when you drive into the local McDonalds until you round the corner and the drive-thru splits into two lanes. No extra windows. No additional anything. Just the opportunity to play chicken with your fellow customers after you've placed your order when you merge back into one lane.
But that wasn't enough. Laudable as it was to throw sand into the gears of a corporate behemoth like McDonald's, the parish wasn't done. The Community Center of St Bernard became the latest subject for the great experiment in how to take something ordinary and useful and turn it into a complete mess when they required that we put in a drive-thru where none thought possible around the Community Center.
Now, the space between our building and the one next door is rather narrow. The fence that surrounds our property makes the entryway even narrower. It never occurred to anyone to pave around the building because nobody thought there was room enough. Undeterred, the parish made it a requirement. And who was to be the beneficiary? Food for Seniors!!!
That's right. The old folks who have enough trouble driving around without having to deal with an obstacle course got to be the inaugural users of this remarkable and previously unimaginable innovation. The man on the ride-along mower did pretty well but even he had to wait in the cold while we made sure everyone was who they said they were. Everyone else had to navigate with inches to spare. When three people scraped the sides of their cars the local police got involved and shut it down. What a relief. Now the Sheriff's men can try to convince their paymasters that this wasn't such a great idea after all.